Of Growing Old, Insomnia and a One-eyed cat

I have this thing with my throat. My stomach produces too much acid and sometimes, when I eat crap, it produces way too much and it runs up in my esophagus when I try to sleep. It burns like hell. This is why I am up at 4:00am. I ran out of my medicine and haven’t gone to get any more since: 1. I’m kinda lazy and 2. That shit is expensive. Like $100 a bottle. So here I am, up and pissed. I began thinking how much it sucked getting old. I’ll be 43 this year. Man, it pains me to type that. So, as many people would, I began to lament growing old and looking back fondly at my youth. Eighteen was fun. Yeah, eighteen was pretty damn fun.

Then it hit me. Eighteen kind of sucked too. I didn’t know shit. I thought I did, but I was clueless. And to make it worse, I was married. My Lord, how could I get married at eighteen? I remember my folks and my girlfriends folks being so against it. But I didn’t care. Man, they were so, so right. (It would be wrong of me to say I regret it, though. My daughter Veronica is a product of that, so any pain that came from it was worth it).

And I used to hate cats. Cats were selfish and self-indulgent. Cats didn’t give a damn about you. Why do I bring that up? A few months ago, this cat started showing up at our door. My wife spent a lot of time on the patio, so she started feeding the cat. It only had one eye, the victim of a wild cat fight. We named her “Winnie”. (One eye, won-I, Winnie… ) The cat comes inside a lot now. Sleeps on the couch and sometimes sleeps in our room at night. Last night, she was curled up beside my head, purring away. And I didn’t get pissed. I smiled and went back to sleep. Somehow, I’ve learned not to hate cats.

I’m 100% certain most of this rambling comes from being tired and being up at 5:00am writing a blog. But it’s true. Growing old kind of sucks. I don’t “get” the music of today. I think so many movies aimed at younger audiences are asinine. I feel sad for my son when he sleeps in on Saturday mornings, remembering when I used to get up at the break of day so I could watch cartoons. He can watch cartoons all the time. But it doesn’t make it better. There is so much that I miss. Thankfully, there’s even more that I’m looking forward to.

Published in: on January 30, 2010 at 5:20 am  Comments (5)  

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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. You poor thing. I’ll run out later and get you some feel-good stuff.

  2. feel-good stuff… 🙂

  3. I am right there with you cause I have to take prevacid every day or I am up all night feeling like I am having a heart attack and wanting to die…I also would not go back again, but it would be nice to feel like I did then and still know what I know…Feel better!

  4. oh lord….i know all about your hating cats! lol. I remember THOSE days clearly! haha. I agree with ya…i really don’t understand music these days…I turned on the radio on my way into work the other day and all I heard was “call me mr. flinstone, i can make your bed rock…” that’s all I needed to hear wth? They are just into so many other things than we all were as kids…sad…

    • “Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock…” Now, that is kinda funny.

      Thanks Kim!


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